You say it's time for us to part ways.
You say alll we do is argue.
You say we don't even like each other anymore.

the really scary thing
is not that you touted these things
(which by the way are ALL untrue)

nor is it that you seem so
easily able to cast me aside

the really scary thing is that

it didn't even hurt.


Is my heart so encased in scar tissue
and concrete barriers I have built
that I no longer feel the pain?

And

if I no longer feel the pain -
can i even still feel love?

But I can and do feel love.
So

I choose to believe that once again
depression has reared it's ugliness.
or
you are off your meds
or
your self worth has plummeted again.

And we will go on.

I held your hand and

we walked in the snow

(not too far)

and looked at the moonshadows

of the pines.

We relished in the brightness

of the night,

the coldness touching our noses and cheeks,

the glittering of the ice crystals on the snow,

and the quiet pleasure of

each other.

I want for this to last

but

at least

I can hold it in my heart

and pull it out

for wistful pleasure

like an old photograph.